Holy $%*^!@#&*+ Batman!

You know, I just didn't have the balls to say what I wanted to in that blog title. And that's ok - you get my drift. I've had quite the eventful pre/exam/post period. Because, as well all know, God hates me and loves me at.the.same.time. My laziness and need to continue studying dictates that rather than receive it in full on narrative form, you shall receive it in tiny miscontrued bits.

The night before the exam:
9:00pm - left mouse click stops workin on Dell touchpad. Attempt to speak to Dell technical support until I realize that I would rather be microwaved to death than deal with some 90 year old woman from India who keeps screaming at her grandchildren to keep it down and then repeatedly asking me if I have a problem with my wireless connection.

9:30pm - After wanting to cry from Dell experience, take walk to find friends and eat their food. Whilst trying to take a bite of Tom kha gai, I dropped a mushroom back into the soup where it lands in a pool of chili oil. The chili oil of course then takes the opportunity to launch itself into my right eyeball and hunker down for the evening.

11:00pm - take another practice exam using only my left eye and right mouse button. Realize that shareholders can bring two kinds of suits against corporations. Look at poison pill provisions and faint.

Day of the exam:
11:30am - go to the evil and dreaded Starbucks (I should've known better), buy mocha so I can slurp off all the whipped cream. Take sip too fast and mocha shoots out of the top of the sippy cup unto my sinus cavity. Scream in boiling hot chocolatey pain. Scream louder and start blowing out of my nose to freak out the Starbucks customers. Blow nose at people.

1:30pm - take exam. I knew the answer to one question, and the rest I was totally unsure about. Happy because there were no corporate combinations on the exam. I think. Run out of things to say by 2:30 and spend the rest of the time typing random provisions at the end of lines. Come out cheering because I took the class pass/fail and I know I passed.

6:30 - find out my best friend got engaged. Ponder whether there's something in the fucking water and then go get a beer. Immediately get involved in long conversation on my generation's divorce rates. Consider stabbing out my other eye as an excuse to leave.

8:30 - get in car accident with Jes. Stopped at red light, asshat plows into Jes's car. Live through it and think about how that was the first "neck test." Jes changes IM status to "Exam week is AWESOME." I consider just wearing a sign for everyone that says "DON'T YOU KNOW I'M IN EXAMS?!?!?!"